Jim T’s Journey – Week 5
“so once again Jim is making me sound like a monster, but the fat is dropping off now and he’s now doing push ups with weight on his back when only 5 weeks ago he could do none. This picture from last week shows how well he is doing because not only are we seeing a loss of more than a kg a week, Jim is also a lot stronger meaning more muscle which is 5 times heavier than fat.”
“Now to Jim…”
Full Metal Jacket…
OK I missed two sessions. We have all been there, works getting out of control, the missus is complaining because you’re not home to help with the kids, take out the garbage orprovide agreement that Anne or Roxanne from this season’s ‘Britain & Ireland’s Next Top Model’ is a total bitch.
Whatever the reason, sometimes, through no fault of our own, life gets in the way of our final stage of “Evolution”.
The problem is that Tim doesn’t see it that way.
Tim – “Where were you?”
Me – “Shit storm at work mate, total cluster f*@k”
Tim – “Right, you know it’s week five, almost half-way through”
Me – “Yeah, look I’m back on it”
Tim – “How’s the diet?”
Me – “OK. Good”
Tim – “It’s just that you haven’t filled it in over the last couple of days”
Me – “Yeah mate, it’s been hectic”
Tim – “Well we’d better have a weigh-in, just to confirm where we are at – it’s critical not to lose momentum”
The weigh-in wasn’t good. It wasn’t that bad in my opinion, but I agreed it wasn’t where it should be i.e. improved. This was when I was introduced to the worst training session of my life, to get me “back on track”
This meant circuit training, which if you haven’t done them before consist of something a little (exactly) like the following:
Boxing x 100 punches
Chin ups x 10
Pressups x 15
Situps x 15
Reverse crunches x 15
Burpees x 15
Prisoner squats x 30
Suicides (shuttle runs) x 30 seconds
Db Bicep curl to press @ 10kg x 12
TRX row x 15
Dips x 15
Back extension x 15
Row – 300m
3 minute rest and repeat twice
Circuit training is an efficient and challenging form of conditioning specifically for well for developing strength and endurance – both aerobic and anaerobic.
All 13 exercises are done back-to-back with no break! Half way through, I genuinely thought Tim was having a laugh and I actually stopped, only to be told to “drop and give me twenty”– I felt like Private Pyle in ‘Full Metal Jacket’
“Are you quitting on me? Well, are you? Then quit, you slimy fucking walrus-looking piece of shit! Get the fuck off of my obstacle! Get the fuck down off of my obstacle! NOW! MOVE IT! Or I’m going to rip your balls off, so you cannot contaminate the rest of the world! I will motivate you, Private Pyle, IF IT SHORT-DICKS EVERY CANNIBAL ON THE CONGO!” – Gunnery Sergeant Hartman
Ok it wasn’t that bad.
It’s true you do move through the muscle groups pretty quickly, and when you do move from one to the other, you get a fresh lease of life, but prison squats and dumbell clean & presses are a nightmare at the best of times.
Naturally Tim didn’t inform me that when I finished I would have to do it again after 3 minutes, another TWO more times!
The second circuit is bad, but you’re buoyed by the fact you know what’s coming, and it wasn’t until the TRX that I began to feel the latic acid building up in my arms and the fatigue begin to set in. By the end there is nothing left in the tank.
The third circuit I don’t even remember except in flashbacks and strange dreams.
My advice – don’t miss a session, ever!